Its not always easy
There are times when the moments of joy get taken over by feeling challenged and overwhelmed, wondering what to do next – you are not alone.
We know the basics – food and shelter – yet sometimes even that seems difficult, not just from a financial point of view but at some stages children can be quite picky about what they’ll eat.
Then there’s, safety and guidance, dealing with behavior that astounds you that a small child can manage, or a nine year old or a teenager – that’s the thing -children add new challenges as they go through different ages and stages – you may be starting to feel that you’ve got a handle on things and they change.
As parents, we are constantly learning new ways of meeting needs and managing behavior, so that they can be the best person they can be – so how do we do this?
Have you noticed a mother duck with her duckling or a bird feeding her chicks in a nest – she just seems to know what to do – some say this is it instinct, others say they repeating what they have observed when they were young.
Most often we learn about parenting from our parents – and they learnt from their parents. If you are sharing parenting with another adult, chances are their parenting style will be different, because they’re from a different family with different ideas. That in itself, can be a challenge!
You might say
‘I’m just doing what I have to do, as I do it,
and because there is so much to do,
I haven’t got time to think about if I’m doing a good job or not! ‘
You are important to your children. Emotional bonds formed by children with their caregivers (you) have a remarkable impact that continues throughout life. Remembering of course that you are not the only influence in their lives, but certainly a main influence in their early years.
A lot has been learned about the development of children at different ages and stages. That includes brain development, which teaches us more about what a child has the capacity to respond to and how best to get an outcome you want.
According to neuroscience a person’s brain does not develop fully until 25 years old!
Don’t struggle on your own. Take the time to step back and reflect upon what the role of a parent is and what kind of parent you want to be. If it strikes you that there’s a lot to absorb, just think about how much your child has to learn just in the first five years!
It certainly can be helpful to join a playgroup and meet other mums and dads or talk to family members.
It may also be helpful to talk to someone independent and take the opportunity to share your thoughts about what’s not working and what else to try. This will enable you to develop a clearer picture and develop some strategies to manage what ever comes up.
If you want to talk to someone who has talked to a lot of parents about their struggles and helped them find ways to manage their role as a parent with an approach they are comfortable with …. make contact with Di Clough 0414728884 for an appointment.