Cooling the Anger

Anger is an emotion – its normal to feel angry sometimes. It is an expression of how we are feeling, usually as a result of an event. It can range from annoyance to intense rage.

Anger can be a result of other emotions -: frustration, disappointment, shame, anxiety, sadness, embarrassment, jealousy, hurt ……

When does anger become a problem? – when it is expressed in harmful ways towards ourselves, or others, and/or if it persists for a period of time. Anger may also be related to other issues for example use of drugs or alcohol and these situations have to be managed as well. Anger can be a result of poor communication and certainly doesn’t help us communicate in an effective way.

A common result of intense anger is yelling, criticizing, throwing things, lashing out physically, storming out – sometimes it comes out as ignoring, withdrawing, stonewalling or crying.

Essentially it is the emotional part of your brain (amygdala, hyper-thalamus) overwhelming the logical problem solving part of your brain (cerebral cortex), which results in a emotional response rather than a logical one.

Anger can lead to violence and abuse, which has the effect of using anger to control a situation or a person. This controlling aspect to anger can cause fear in others and sometimes even in our selves.

You may be well aware that anger is a problem for you, or not recognise it until when someone tells you it is. Even then, you may disregard that or not be able to recogognise it. Or you might even feel that you have to get angry to get what you want.

You may be getting angry at work and/or at home, with those closest to you but once you have recognized it then you can start to examine the powerful emotion for what it is, and what behind it and remind yourself or even learn for the first time, a different way of getting what you need.

If you are reading this then you have begun – that’s a good start. Call and let me help you with this and change your responses – Di Clough 0414728884

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