Anxiety & Trauma

Anxiety and trauma are not the same but they can have similar qualities – they both can affect a person’s capacity to cope with daily tasks.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is traditionally the therapy used to assist people with anxiety. It helps people identify their feelings and thoughts and how they affect the way they respond to things in their lives. It aims to help people change unhelpful thoughts, by assessing the evidence for their way of thinking, that may be well supported by another more positive way of thinking. It helps people reframe the way that events are perceived.

Developments in the understanding of the brain from a neuroscience perspective has offered new opportunities for working with people who suffer from anxiety and even more so with trauma and post-traumatic Stress.

The Body Remembers, the title of a book by Rothschild (2000), highlights the body mind link and gives us an understanding of why smells, sounds, and visual stimulation reminds us of past events or past times. Sometimes there is a feeling that is triggered but it does not always bring vivid memory of the event itself.

These sensory triggers can alert the survival part of your brain into ‘high alert’ mode. You may have heard the term ‘flight or fight’ mode. Suddenly you might notice that your heart is beating fast, or your chest feels tight, or you feel flushed and it’s not clear why. It can feel quite disconcerting and definitely out of your comfort zone.

As the memory attached to the feeling is not retrievable – it is not always necessary to go back to the trauma itself to help you deal with these feelings.

It is possible to learn to divert these feelings with increased awareness of any early warning signs, by taking some a gentle deep breaths – “breath in deeply, gently and breath out slowly through your mouth” this will start to slow down these escalated body responses – the outward breath particularly will slow down your pulse rate.

Then it is possible to allow the body to regain itself and allow the thinking part of your brain to engage…….

So much has been learned about anxiety and trauma and if you want to know more or experience some relief from your anxiety or trauma make an appointment to see Call or Text Di….. 0414728884

parenting – its not always easy

Its not always easy

 There are times when the moments of joy get taken over by feeling challenged and overwhelmed, wondering what to do next – you are not alone.

We know the basics – food and shelter – yet sometimes even that seems difficult, not just from a financial point of view but at some stages children can be quite picky about what they’ll eat.

Then there’s, safety and guidance, dealing with behavior that astounds you that a small child can manage, or a nine year old or a teenager – that’s the thing -children add new challenges as they go through different ages and stages – you may be starting to feel that you’ve got a handle on things and they change.

As parents, we are constantly learning new ways of meeting needs and managing behavior, so that they can be the best person they can be – so how do we do this?

Have you noticed a mother duck with her duckling or a bird feeding her chicks in a nest – she just seems to know what to do – some say this is it instinct, others say they repeating what they have observed when they were young.

Most often we learn about parenting from our parents – and they learnt from their parents. If you are sharing parenting with another adult, chances are their parenting style will be different, because they’re from a different family with different ideas. That in itself, can be a challenge!

You might say

‘I’m just doing what I have to do, as I do it,

and because there is so much to do,

I haven’t got time to think about if I’m doing a good job or not! ‘

You are important to your children. Emotional bonds formed by children with their caregivers (you) have a remarkable impact that continues throughout life. Remembering of course that you are not the only influence in their lives, but certainly a main influence in their early years.

A lot has been learned about the development of children at different ages and stages. That includes brain development, which teaches us more about what a child has the capacity to respond to and how best to get an outcome you want.

According to neuroscience a person’s brain does not develop fully until 25 years old!

Don’t struggle on your own. Take the time to step back and reflect upon what the role of a parent is and what kind of parent you want to be. If it strikes you that there’s a lot to absorb, just think about how much your child has to learn just in the first five years!

It certainly can be helpful to join a playgroup and meet other mums and dads or talk to family members.

It may also be helpful to talk to someone independent and take the opportunity to share your thoughts about what’s not working and what else to try. This will enable you to develop a clearer picture and develop some strategies to manage what ever comes up.

If you want to talk to someone who has talked to a lot of parents about their struggles and helped them find ways to manage their role as a parent with an approach they are comfortable with …. make contact with Di Clough 0414728884 for an appointment.